Polorized World

This country is too polarized these days. Every side of the issue thinks they are right, and they can't see that it's just their opinion and their belief it what works best for them, but not for everyone. It's a shame.

New Job

Starting a new job on tomorrow, what will it bring? It'll be nice to be back in an office again interacting with people.
Hmmm....

Winds of change

October 2009; it's been two years since I wrote on this blog. A lot has happened.
Reflecting back, it's funny how life happens. It's everything I thought it would be and nothing like I thought it would be.
Day to day, it just "is." Get up everyday and you build from the previous day. Eventually all that building amounts to something. Yes, I know you're thinking to yourself "well duh." But have you really stopped and thought about it?
Earlier this year I was laid off from a company, so I started my own. It's been interesting and quite a learning experience. I am meeting a lot of interesting people and trying to perfect my own elevator speech. Every person I meet is a job interview in some form. Have to stay on my toes, and I have to know enough about many different things so that when someone starts talking about it, I can chime in.
Life has it's ups and downs. It seems like the older you get the bigger the swings are. I have never been so happy about parts of my life, yet I have never been so down on other parts. Maybe that is what makes life interesting. Everything we do matters more, at least matters more to those around me.
Hmmm...

hmmm

Young adults, it's almost as strange as going through puberty. You work late, get home and throw something together for dinner, while still working on your laptop. You're in the same room as your significant other and you send them an IM to ask them a question. Last night I had my work computer and home computer on so I could multi-task. Kat was watching a show on TV and during the commercial she was watching another show on her laptop while looking at emails on her blackberry (are we lame?).
Chris is now in England for a two year stint, looking forward to hearing about his life there.
Work gets more and more stressful everyday. The stress is unlike anything I have had in the past. This time it's not just my life I have to worry about. I am sometimes suprised how many problems people have in their lives. The thing about my position is that I have to know what's going on their lives. Seriously, who needs soap operas on tv, I just have to go to work to hear them.
But you know what, it's still fun and still exciting, everday.
That's the way life goes... (Janet Jackson)

Wow

It's been a while since I blogged. It's funny how that works. Write pretty consistantly, then stop for a while, the start again, etc.
Anyway, WOW!!!!!! Life's grand!!!!! Seriously, I have everything I could realistically ask for at this point. Overseeing a small start up company for a few people I use to work with which I am hoping will pay off, engaged to be married in the Spring of 08, have a great set of friends and almost no complaints (everyone has some complaint, I mean, I can't fly yet, walk through walls and we have a dumbass for our president).
I digress, the point of my writing today to go back and ask the age old question, "what is the meaning of life?", yet also to add onto it, "and why aren't we working towards that meaning?"
Like I said, life is grand, I really have all I could ask for, and I am on the road to reaching any goal I have ever set, and I believe my life will be pretty damn good. But there is more, I can feel it, there is this thing inside me that knows there is more, some sense that I am being lazy, or that I have pushed myself as hard as I could. I joke with my inner circle that I want to start a new religion, and I think that stems from this feeling. Of course this feeling does subside after I complete a triathlon or just training session for it, or a hike, or finish a good book. It's strange, but cool.
Maybe I will run for a city council seat and see if politics is the way to go. HAHA, I think I could rule the world... well at least my corner of the world.

Thoughts - Ideas - Philosophy

Thoughts - Ideas - Philosophy
so you ever just watch people... I think you see the most interesting things sometimes. I was at the laundry mat tonight and I saw this guy and girl talking, they looked to me as if they were flirting a bit. But during the coarse fo their conversation, she had mentioned her husband doing this or that. They continued in on in the same fashion, again, looking as if they were still flirting with each other. I guess I found it awkward, because I don't think I would be acting the same. I think it just maybe my personality.
I thought of another idea the other day; Maslov's hierarchy of needs. For those who don't know, it is the concept that you have certain needs that have to be obtained before you move up the pyramid and to achieve wants and desires and eventually reach self actualization. I started thinking how much it really defines who we are. Those who have those basic needs fulfilled and don't have to worry about them, can spend more time focusing on on those concepts that are higher up on the pyramid. I think that helps to define who I am. Most of my life I have been focused on fulfilling that first level of needs and making sure I don't lose what I already have. Some of my biggest fears are being poor and not being able to pay my rent or have enough money for food. I seem to focus more on the practical then the fun. I have had friends tell me that when I give gifts I only give pratical gifts instead of fun gifts, and to me that makes sense. Get people what they need. I think I am getting to a point where I am living comfortable and can now focus on other aspects. It's a new idea and concept for me, it's going to take some time to learn.

Business plan

Thoughts - Ideas - Philosophy I was looking over the website I created a few weeks ago for my small business consulting idea. After some time, i think it still looks professional and that the idea is still pretty good. When I think about, I really seem to have all the players in place. So I think it's time to get this thing started. I figure I need to actually get the company up and running legally, get some documentation taken care of, create a plan of action and finally just go out and get the clients. Hopefully have something up and running by summer. The job I have now is really giving me some great training and a ton of experience. Some people have said I or the people I know don't have enough experience, but all we have to have is a little more experience than our clients do. I have talked with many small business owners, they just want to concentrate on the actual industry they are in, they don't really think about running the business.
I'm hyped about this...

Life

Went clubbing last night with in Hollywood for a fraternity bro’s birthday. I invited a coworker, Justin with me. He’s our graphic intern, cool kid. He’s finishing up his last semester of college, always a fun guy to work with and hang out with. Anyway, it was weird, I really didn’t think I was going to have a good time. It was a Friday night, and after work I kind just wanted to go home and relax, shut out the world for the rest of the night. Plus I thought I may be to old for this. So I swing by Justin’s house in Hollywood. We chill for a bit with his neighbors on their patio, have a couple of drinks and then grab a cab over to the club. Got into the club and just started drinking. Choice of drink for the night was good ol’ Jack and Coke (great for night, not great the next day). So after a couple of drinks, we were hanging out with some people we knew there, then hit up the dance floor. Nothing big happen, didn’t really meet a girl or anything, but it just felt really really good to be out there. I was either dancing really well, or was to drunk to care. So after three more jack and cokes later ( I think I had 7 or 8 for the night), it was 2am and time to cab it back to Justin’s place. Damn, got to his house, hit his couch and just passed out. Woke up in the morning with a bit of hang over, but it’s amazing how purging your body of the alcohol makes you feel (yes I threw up). Had a bit of head ache today, so I tried to sleep it off, but all and all, feeling pretty good. Definitely thinking I need to go out more often. Maybe not to the extent I did last night (dropped $80 for taxi and drinks), but just get out and be around people, have fun, through back a couple with my friends.

I am thinking about moving to either Santa Monica or a beach city soon. I am going to talk to my roomy about moving out early. I love living with him, but I don’t think I like where I am living now. I need to be somewhere where the community is more active, neighbors talk with each other and there is something to do. We shall see…

Thoughts - Ideas - Philosophy

So I called Jennifer tonight, she was straight up honest with me and told me she is seeing someone else. She said she wanted to be honest with me and not lead me one and the whole still be friends bit. We talked for about another half of an hour about Salsa dancing, work and other things and ended on a good note. We will still have Salsa class for a seven more weeks together, so que-sa-ra-sa-ra.

Have to find out what’s next. Need to get out and meet people, so my ideas are joining a co-ed softball team, take some Salsa dancing lessons on the Westside, maybe joining a tri-team and the one thing I thought I would never do, go hang out at some bars.

I know it’s sounds strange, but I think my main priority right now is to go out and meet people. It starting to get to me being alone. I know I have my friends nearby, my family is all out of state, but I miss the companionship.

So, here we go…

Life

So I think I am in a research stage, maybe an expermental stage, maybe a stage of time to go out and meet the world.

I find that I do better when I have a plan, so I need some time to work on that plan. Time to find some more ducks to line up in a row, and trust me, trying to train ducks to line up in a row is hard to do. They respond well to those cheesey fish crakers though...

Life

I just need to clear my head right now…

Life

Ok, so I am feeling good again. My Salsa instructor said she is giving me a chance to audition for the next level of Salsa dancing on Monday, so hopefully that goes well. I have my work’s Holiday Party this weekend and I know that will be fun and I have been running again for about a week now, doing well at it, and feeling damn good afterwards.

I will probably call Jennifer by tomorrow to see how things are going. Hopefully things go positive there. She will be in the Salsa class I will be taking starting next week, so that will be interesting no matter what happens.

Life’s still good!!!!!

feeling good

You know, energy feeds upon similar energy. I went running this morning and really felt good all day, and it seems as if everyone was being a lot more friendly and I had more energy so I was being a lot more friendly.
Also, in terms of my career...I love my job, I love the company and there is nothing bad about it. Outside of work I have been working with some old collegue from my last job who started their own business. I have been doing marketing for them and talk with them a few times about strategic planning, and it feels good that they come to me for advice. Once things get moving for them, I may considering doing some actual consulting for them and get paid for it. On the same note, a client of the bank today asked me about doing some marketing for them, because she said that everyone she talks with at the bank speak highly of me. She asked me a couple of questions regarding marketing, so I told her I would be willing to do some outside cosulting for her... it will be interesting to see where that leads.
Seriously, things in life are good, all the ducks are lining up. I like the road my life is taking me on.
"if life is just a highway, then the souls is just a car" - Meatloaf

love and good-byes

life sometimes seems unfair. you know you care a lot about someone, but you know for the good of everyone, you have to say good-bye forever. it's not like you hate the person, there's not bad blood, but you can't continue to have the person in your life, you just have to loose a part of you...it sucks.

family

you know I have pretty much lived on my own since I was 19 (minus the one year I lived back with my mom in Texas) and I have gotten pretty use to it. Most everyone I know has family within an hours drive. I have always been jealous and envyous of those friends and the time they spend with their family. It hasn't been until lately have I realized just how important family can be. My family (my mom, brother and myself) have been getting online to chat every sunday morning for a few years now, sometime we miss sundays, and we haven't been so consistant over the last year or so, but we still try to keep up with each other. I think more so now, when I feel unsure about many things in life, I realized how much family is always their for you, they tell it to you like it is and support you no matter how stupid you have been...

motivation

It's strange how unmotivated a person can be when there is no drive in their life. All my life I wanted to be that guy who after work never came home, always had something to do, people to see, things to do. I would say I had been pretty successful at that. I volunteer as an advisor to my old college fraternity, I have been taking Salsa dancing lessons for a while now, train for triathlons and other events and hang out with my friends a couple of nights a week leaving just enough time to go grocery shopping, do laundry and occasionally see what's on tv. Except for about the last month, the last month I haven't really felt like doing anything. My frat is on their winter break, Salsa dancing is on winter break and it has been a little cold and my training buddies are doing family things this time of year. So, the only thing I look forward to is going to work. It gives me something to do. Most people can't wait to go home, I can't wait to go to work and I hate leaving. Going home to an empty house (my roommate is back with his parents until after the holiday) with nothing to do sucks. I know there are many things I could do when I get home, but I don't have the motivation to do it. Don't feel like reading, drawing, playing my guitar or much else. It's crazy, we all have heard the saying, when it rains it pours; well now I know why. Energy builds on itself, when bad energy is in your life, it just attracts more and more, until you personally break the chain. I guess I will wait until after the holidays when things pick up again. I think I will take two Salsa Dancing classes, a buddy at work is learning to play guitar, so I will practice with him and I think I will join a softball team in the spring.
"a long decemeber and there's reason to believe, maybe this year will be better than the last..." - Counting Crows

heart

So I found this girl in my salsa dancing class and asked her out a couple of times. Our second date went very well. I really thought we had hit it off, we really got to know each other well and I found out she has a lot of what I am looking for in a women. Then tonight happened...
Earlier I had met up with Justine for coffee because we hadn't talked in a while. She is hurt and mad that I have found some as she says "so quickly" to start dating and that I am dating someone from the class we are in. She went on a date with a guy before I did with Jennifer, and told me she did, and she is mad at me. So tonight we meet to discuss being able to hang out. I told her I would want to spend sometime with Jennifer, she said "that's fine, I don't really plan on hanging around with you tonight much anyway." Wow I thought, that put my worries away, I could spend the night and talk to Jennifer and really keep things on track before she left on her vacation out of the country for three weeks. Justine pretty much spent the whole night, right next to me!!!!! I wasn't able to spend anytime with Jennifer. When the dinner was served, I just got up and left the restaurant and walked around Pasadena. I had felt like I was being stabbed in the stomach and in the chest. Things had been going well with Jennifer before tonight, and in my mind they where getting worse every minute. I came back to the club just before the dancing started and again Justine would come right next to me. I danced with Justine, because our instructor came up and told us we should get out on the dance floor, and it's not really a suggestion, when she say's it, you do it. so Justine and I danced. I was able to dance the next song with Jennifer though. It was good for about the first 3 seconds and then my mind went blank and I lost all rythm. I thought I had brought my "A" game, but it was as far away from that as possible. I find one of the best connections I have ever had with a women and I blow all in just a night. I went from feeling best I have felt in a long time on our second date, to feeling the most depressed I have yet. All I am, everything I do is for one thing and that thing is to find someone to share my life and my heart with.
You know, when you end a relationship, just end it all.
I told Jennifer to call me when she gets back to the country, we will see what happens then...

Getting life on track

Working for Marketing at Alliance Bank has been great, it is the perfect job for me. It is exactly what I have wanted to do. My boss is great and the people I work with are fun to be around. Living in West LA has been an experience, but I think I am done with that and plan to move out of where I am living this summer. I am thinking I need to live closer to the beach or a different part of LA. Life is great. I think my mind is starting to adjust to the idea of what the next stage of my life maybe, the whole family and house and kids and things. Although I am no where close to that, I can see it coming in a few years, it's not such a foreign idea to me. Finding someone to share that part of my life has been a task. I keep wondering if I am being to picky or haven't been looking in the right place. I have all but a few of my ducks in a row, so the thing to do is, sit back and have fun for a while.

Relationships

You know when you break up with someone, at the moment, you know why you are doing it, a week later you don't remember why you did it. If you continue to hang out with that person, you either see all the good there was in the relationship or all the bad. When you see all the bad, it just reinforces the decision you made. When you see all good, you question yourself, you try to remember why you ended it, you think to yourself, "things really weren't that bad." I think I figured out the key, you can't focus on what worked, you have to focus on what didn't work. Not neccessarily what was bad, but why the two of you didn't work out, why the relationship at that level didn't work. Lonliness sucks, but being in a relationship that doesn't work, can be event worse.

Thoughts - Ideas - Philosophy

you ever have those days you just feel alone...

meaning of life - want we want

Thoughts - Ideas - Philosophy
So I think... well I know what it is we all desire; we desire friendship, love, a sense of belonging. This may be an obvious observation, but what I am getting at is more the idea of what people to get this. Most people I know belong to some type of online community, we all have email, and I think most people spend a great deal of time waiting for people to contact us. It is weird, it's like we are all staring out the window thinking that person is going to come and life will be great. That window has now become a computer screen.
I just think it is funny how we hold onto relationships, we hope for things that will never come. Years later you wonder why or how you got to be where you are now...

City Planning

Thoughts - Ideas - Philosophy: more meaning of life So I am now the District Director (Chapter Advisor) for the Delta Sigma Pi Chatper at LMU. I was going to a meeting on their campus yesterday and it hit me as to what a cool place it was. Many people playing sports in the grass, people running, riding skateboards, walking to class, and I thought about something; how cool would it be if a downtown area was like a college campus. People park in these huge parking structures miles away from the center of a downtown area and could take a monorail into town and walk around every where they needed. People could live and work in that area.

more meaning of life

Thoughts - Ideas - Philosophy
I have all I want for myself up to this point in my life. Great job, friends, have my undergraduate degree and live in a pretty cool place in LA. I think I need a partner in crime, some one to start thinking about the future with. The problem is I can't seem to find that, good ol' fashion bar scene is just not my scene, and meeting people online hasn't been as fruitful as I thought it maybe. I am out trying to meet people via Salsa Dancing, maybe joining a coed softball team, maybe taking up bowling. As much of a fundemental aspect of life that dating is, why is it so hard and why isn't it a bigger part of what we do in society? I'm haning out at Starbucks now, but everyone here comes with someone else. People come here with a purpose. Where do you meet a smart, educated, cute, easy to get along with women who has goals and aspirations in life?

Thoughts - Ideas - Philosophy

Thoughts - Ideas - Philosophy
It is weird, when I started this blog, I was so into it, I thought it was the greatest thing next to slice bread. It takes a lot of work to post these things, well a lot of work mentally. hmmmmm

New Job

Thoughts - Ideas - Philosophy I started my new job today with Alliance Bank. Everyone there is really cool. Didn't really do a lot today, mostly met people and talked with them today. I am excited, this seems to be a great place to be, and I am excited about making an impact. Don't have to many details about the job, I will post them as they become available.

Quiting a job

Thoughts - Ideas - Philosophy
I put in my notice at my current job with my HR dept, but I am still waiting to talk with my boss about what to do. I am at work mostly sitting on my hands. My boss has been totally unavailable, go figure as to why I am leaving. It is interesting, I am anxious to talk with him and partially scared. I am almost certain he will yell at me and talk about how he has invested in me so much and why would I want to leave, but in the same sence, I don't really care. I have done my what I feel is my best to help this company out, but ran into way to many walls.
I think my department will do well though. I tried to structure it so if I was to leave, the structure wouldn't fall apart. I have been training my assistant to take over where I have left off, and my sales reps are up and running. The company can hire more sales reps, hand them the training manual and other material I created and get the up and running is a lot shorter time then I was when I started.
I have been getting acolades from all I work with, it has been pretty amazing. Most people I am telling I am leaving said they are sad to see my go and that they think I am a really smart guy, this really boosts my ego a bit.
I am a bit worried I will mess up at my new job. Wow, so much to anticipate about a new company, a new group of people, a new culture. Worried, excited, I guess it is all the same thing.
For those in my life who have supported me through all of this, thank you. Behind every great man lies a network of friends who truly care about him and want to see him succeed. Trust me, I know this...

no TV

Thoughts - Ideas - Philosophy
Since Matt and I moved into our new place we decided not to get cable, thus have no TV!!!!!! Wow, talk about having withdrawls, I never knew how much TV I really watched and how much I fit it into my schedule. I use to have my tv be my alarm clock, it would turn on in the morning and I would watch it while getting ready for work. Then I would turn the TV on when I got home from work for some background noise, and then the weekends, I would watch TV at least four hours a day.
I still like the choice of not having TV, I have found more valueable things to do with my time. I have been updating this blog more, I have been reading the newspaper more, I have been reading books more and I also picked my guitar up again to start practicing with it.
Big paradigm shift though, I will have to see how I am doing after three months.

poor man

Thoughts - Ideas - Philosophy
Today as I was leaving work, I saw a man walking. He was holding onto a gate to keep his balance, he would walk a few steps and almost stumble forward, but catch himself. He was a very thin and frail looking man, looked to be in his late 40's. After passing him, I saw him stop for a moment and he seemed to bend over and throw up. He seemed to a man on his last leg, and I started wondering..."at what point do you help a lone man, a stranger?" At that point you can go in so many directions with that question. Then you ask yourself, if I help him, do I help everyother person? At what cost to yourself to help someone? Where does it stop? I have to ponder this one for a while.

Work

Thoughts - Ideas - Philosophy
I hate my boss. He is an idiot, has no clue on how to run a business. He is a liar, a cheater and he talks funny.
Ok, I just had to get that off my chest

Quote

Thoughts - Ideas - Philosophy
"funny how you feel so much, but can not say a word, you're screaming inside, but can't be heard"
- Sarah McLauphin

Work...

Sometimes it is just not good enough to love what you do, you have to love who you do it for. I think I am uniquely lucky when it comes to the first job I got directly out of college. On the surface, I found the exact job description I wanted in the type of company I wanted to be in. I was able to make an impact on a small company with the decisions I made. I couldn't be happier doing what I am doing. The only, and deterimental downfall is the my boss and owner of the company. He is a complete moron and has no sense on how to run a business. He is one of the most unethical people I know and will lie directly to you so he looks better in the short term.
Thankfully I was able to last at least a year, I can put it on my resume and real experience that has benefited me and I am getting to walk away. I am in the process of interviewing for a new job at a much better company. Lets keep our fingers crossed.

where I am

I live in Westwood now, finally got out of the "Valley". Life is different over here or at least there is a different vibe over here. People are all about working out and living life. When I go running, no matter what time of day it is, I am always passing people doing the same thing. I really don't know how long I plan to stick around this area, at least a year, maybe a few, but I think this will be what I am looking for in my life.
Westwood Village is less than a mile away, so my roommate (Matt) and I walk there a lot to hang out at Starbucks or eat dinner.
Still love my job, still hate my boss. Hopefully a new opportunity will arise soon that I can find myself a new company to work for.

meaning of life

Have you ever pondered the meaning of life? You wonder what your role is, why you exist and where you fit in. In thinking about this very same idea the other day, I had an apifany; instead of thinking about your life, think about the life of someone who has already lived. Think about your grandparents, think about their grandparents, think about the Romans during the time of Julius Caesar. What was the meaning of their life? How did they fit into society, the world or the universe and then we could compare our lives with theirs.
We all hope that there is more and we are not just on this planet for a blink of an eye in all of time and that our lives, thoughts, feelings are just a culmination of really complex cells coming together in a mass we call our body and making us think that we are more then we really are. I guess we can't just think about what the meaning of our life is, but what the meaning of all life is?

My title is uhmm, hmmm....

I created this blog so I could post my thoughts, ideas and Philosophies that I believe in. I want people to respond with what they think about my writings and also what their own beliefs are. I will also write about things going on in my life. I am doing as much as I can to put my brain down in writing so everyone else can try and figure out who I am and also so I can figure out who I am, who I have been and who I am becoming...any thoughts yet?